Contact · About · Bios

Let's spend some money: Happy National Scrapple Day!

That's a lotta pig offal...

It’s National Scrapple Day today, didn’t you know? Mark this day in your calendar and treasure it forever. I wasn’t even aware of the existence of scrapple until a few years ago when my roommate from Philly introduced it to me. I’m from Minnesota where Spam is king, to each their own. Scrapple is like Spam, but doesn’t typically come in a can and it’s grayer in color.

More (158 words) »

     Share       

Mixtape of 1990s R&B dedication jamz
this one goes out to...

The following are Inspired by The World Famous Two-Hour Power Love Hour.

For the full list, click on the YouTube Playlist.

1. R. Kelly – 12 Play (1993) – Bump N’ Grind: Trying to pick just one R. Kelly track for this list was one of the most difficult tasks I’ve ever assigned myself. He has at least five amazing Dedication Jamz on his first two albums alone, and that was before he got heavy into the ballad business. The man is a genre unto himself. Even after I’d basically settled on “Bump N’ Grind” as an early yet archetypal R. Kelly entry, I lost several hours listening to Chocolate Factory and TP.3 Reloaded, even though their post-millennial releases disqualify them from consideration. It was brutal, thankless work, but I stuck with it and if I had to do it all over again, I would. My only regret is that I have but one life to give in service of canonizing 90’s Dedication Jamz.

More (1141 words) »

     Share       

In the spirit of vomicking… we present Splice

splice baby

Halfway through my screening of Splice a woman in the audience vomited all over the floor.

This is not the first time I’ve encountered a patron upchucking in a movie theater. Before a showing of the movie The Brave One, a young boy heaved into a garbage can. Incidentally, the plumbing in the entire multi-level movie theater was also on the fritz; picture that mise-en-scene. I still don’t understand why his mother brought him to that movie, and why they remained when the kid was clearly sick as a dog, but I suppose the high cost of movie tickets necessitated that decision, or perhaps she just really loved Jodie Foster.

I digress. Splice, while gory and disgusting, should not make the average viewer puke. It’s less of a horror film than the previews would lead one to believe – the horrors here are mostly ethical, unsettling and bizarre. This is science fiction minus the science. The filmmakers don’t try to provide any explanation about how it’s done or why things turn out the way they do. The pivotal splicing scene is set to the tune of late-90s techno music and a computer screen that simply reads “Human/Animal Splice: Successful.”

More (380 words) »

     Share