Contact · About · Bios


Flush Your Workweek Goodbye

As we stumble madly into this weekend, Drew from Toothpaste For Dinner and The Worst Things For Sale would like to remind you that not only is the American Standard 2889.216.020 Toilet extremely efficient at flushing waste, it also has the most spectacularly ridiculous marketing videos known to man.

Flush on, you crazy diamond. Flush on into that weekend.


4th of July Short Week Links

Because Freedom incoming.


Monday Fugue Links

Image: Comics with Problems

Because Monday is boring and you smell bad.


ANR has a Mid-Issac Message For You

The apocalypse is here and its name is John Hancock.


Signs of the Apocalypse and/or the End of Summer

I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which is which.

  • Let’s get reductive: Everyone is in love with Liz Tracy’s video about a woman, her butthole, needles, and ink. Everyone. You too, you just don’t know it yet.
  • Your favorite summer jam™ is now being repackaged as a folk song.
  • People are being elected! Somehow. Just not online.
  • Camper is selling the ugliest mandals $115 can buy. This isn’t new, exactly, but still a sign of something ominous.
  • Otto Von Schirach is dirtying the internet yet again. I’d put this in the “Summer” category just because this is reassuringly consistent.
  • In closing: cocoa costs versus coca costs putting Colombia in a conundrum. Batman.



by , posted Aug 15, 11:38 AM


State stereotypes mapped courtesy of Google. Spoiler alert: Florida is weird, humid, trashy and hot.

by , posted Aug 9, 01:36 PM

Memorial Day Weekend Linkage

So whether you’ll be over at Wetlab for the last Friday of cheap beer for a while, on a towel with Misael, joining LegalArt for an evening of video installations and Peroni, fleeing Miami Beach, or staying indoors and avoiding the shit weather, here’s a few ways to kill some time before your 3 days of freedom:



Over on Thought Catalogue, one man chronicles his quest to get DENIED a a medical marijuana card in the golden state.

by , posted May 14, 10:24 AM


Scientific American just wanted to let you know that online dating isn’t any better than offline dating and that furthermore you’ll probably die alone. Our advice: get a cat.

by , posted May 8, 10:15 AM


Feminism aside and all,“Thanks to Spanx” is enough of headline to be worth sharing.

by , posted Mar 13, 02:01 PM


So I quit the Boy Scouts after getting a lecture on the 10 Commandments and saying to myself “I’m the only one here who doesn’t smoke a ton of pot but I’m being chastised for saying ‘god dammit’?” This week marks the Scouts’ 102nd anniversary and Wired reprinted a really interesting article asking whether the Boy Scouts are still relevant. Religious (and potentially discriminatory viewpoints) aside, the values they promote are so backward that I can’t think of an organization more in need of a refresh.

by , posted Feb 10, 10:26 AM

Post Wings n' Beer Superbowl Food Coma Links

  • Don’t forget kids: foosball is the devil.
  • It’s about time Lemmy got his very own Shiraz. I’m thinking he’ll stick with Jack though.
  • You probably read about this at least a hundred times over the weekend via Facebook. If not though, you don’t need Forbes to tell you you’re unhappy. Either way: Miami has been named America’s Most Miserable City. Most of this seems to be related to the housing industry, which leads to …
  • Hurricane Season and insurance and oh god why are we talking about this already! A bill to shrink the pool of homeowners covered by Citizens Property Insurance, supposedly the insurer of last resort, passed the House on Friday. Suddenly switching people from a state-backed insurance pool to unregulated insurance with inadequate notice sounds rather stupid yet TOTALLY the type of back-assward thing Florida would do.
  • Cargo Pants are the zombies of the fashion world. The George Romero back from the dead lurking horror kind, not the 28 Days Later disease infected raging killer kind. While we’re at it, other zombie types you may be unaware of.
  • Unpublished Coffee Table Books. I’m pretty sure I could write this one.
  • Friend Ted started a podcast revolving around interviewing people with weird and/or interesting jobs. Give it a listen if you ever wondered what it was like to be a radio host in Wyoming or a Golf Ball Diver.



Via Waxy, a story about why one ten-year attendee is skipping SXSW this year. Considering the volume of boring newsfluff pouring out this year, I’m not in the least bit surprised.

by , posted Jan 31, 03:34 PM


“Yeah, if they take what I say seriously, they’ve got a real big problem.” Miss Piggy, a puppet, calls out Fox News as not being news, but the fact that she did so was not in fact news. In other non-news, my head hurts.

by , posted Jan 30, 02:30 PM

Bandwagon Jumping, anyone? Shit Miami Girls (and Guys) Say

More (28 words) »



Former THL fave Chuck Klosterman turned a misinformed rant on an album into an incredibly stupid commentary on gender, prompting rebuttals all involving different varieties of the phrase “Old Man Yelling” to varying effect. However, Jen is the only one to connect the dots and realize that if Klosterman isn’t our generation’s Andy Rooney, he soon will be.

by , posted Jan 26, 10:23 AM

Liz Tracy’s new role at The Heat Lightning: commenter

You may or may not have already heard my news. I’ve written about it twice, and it’s going to start getting really redundant here. And wait, yes, it is about to get really redundant right here. That’s right. I’m saying goodbye again. Hold your horses, this one’s directed at THL. With all of these posts, it kind of seems like I’m dying not just moving 20 minutes north.

As the new music editor at the New Times Broward-Palm Beach, I will be saying good-bye to Miami, moving to Broward, and to The Heat Lightning – the blog which I birthed with Alesh a year and a half ago.

I’m not a public emoter past anger, furious anger, and the occasional hurt feeling tear. Every time I try to be a human, I feel like Data when he was implanted with the emotion chip. That’s why writing this farewell has taken me forever, or a week to be accurate.

When I moved to Miami as a kid, I hated it. I really hated it and everyone in it. It was only in ninth grade when I met my best friend Liza a recent arrival from New York that I fell in love with this shitty city. Liza illuminated all the beauty of this foreign place with her always seemingly rational perspective. The banyans, the sun, the sand. How could I not embrace it and make it my home?

More (1081 words) »


« Older