Sincerest condolences to the family of Aaron Cohen who passed away after being the victim of a hit and run accident while bicycling on the Rickenbacker Causeway this week. A memorial ride is planned for tomorrow morning.

I’d like to take this opportunity to remind y’all that lest you think people in New York are all “progressive” or anything when it comes to cycling and transportation, the NYPD is having to own up to the fact that they basically let drivers get away with murder.

A very special Valentines Edition of Locals Only will be airing tonight on WVUM. It’ll be featuring Miami Love Stories and contain two minutes of my discussing marbles for some reason.

If you have a story you’d like to share, it’s probably not too late to email it to them at spokenword@wvum.org. Otherwise tune in tonight from 7 to 8 PM or stream it over at wvum.org!

From our heart to yours.

Love,
The Heat Lightning

So I quit the Boy Scouts after getting a lecture on the 10 Commandments and saying to myself “I’m the only one here who doesn’t smoke a ton of pot but I’m being chastised for saying ‘god dammit’?” This week marks the Scouts’ 102nd anniversary and Wired reprinted a really interesting article asking whether the Boy Scouts are still relevant. Religious (and potentially discriminatory viewpoints) aside, the values they promote are so backward that I can’t think of an organization more in need of a refresh.

No one has ever looked this happy on an airboat.

Sincerely,
The Heat Lightning

p.s. context

• Don’t forget kids: foosball is the devil.
• It’s about time Lemmy got his very own Shiraz. I’m thinking he’ll stick with Jack though.
• You probably read about this at least a hundred times over the weekend via Facebook. If not though, you don’t need Forbes to tell you you’re unhappy. Either way: Miami has been named America’s Most Miserable City. Most of this seems to be related to the housing industry, which leads to …
• Hurricane Season and insurance and oh god why are we talking about this already! A bill to shrink the pool of homeowners covered by Citizens Property Insurance, supposedly the insurer of last resort, passed the House on Friday. Suddenly switching people from a state-backed insurance pool to unregulated insurance with inadequate notice sounds rather stupid yet TOTALLY the type of back-assward thing Florida would do.
• Cargo Pants are the zombies of the fashion world. The George Romero back from the dead lurking horror kind, not the 28 Days Later disease infected raging killer kind. While we’re at it, other zombie types you may be unaware of.
• Unpublished Coffee Table Books. I’m pretty sure I could write this one.
• Friend Ted started a podcast revolving around interviewing people with weird and/or interesting jobs. Give it a listen if you ever wondered what it was like to be a radio host in Wyoming or a Golf Ball Diver.

Liz already spilled a ton of ink on these guys when they left Miami but they only crossed my radar just now. Point is: the title of Ice Cream’s new album is appropriate if not a little humble.

My favorite response so far to Susan G. Komen For The Cure’s political decision to pull funding for breast cancer screening from Planned Parenthood.

Via Waxy, a story about why one ten-year attendee is skipping SXSW this year. Considering the volume of boring newsfluff pouring out this year, I’m not in the least bit surprised.

“Yeah, if they take what I say seriously, they’ve got a real big problem.” Miss Piggy, a puppet, calls out Fox News as not being news, but the fact that she did so was not in fact news. In other non-news, my head hurts.

Former THL fave Chuck Klosterman turned a misinformed rant on an album into an incredibly stupid commentary on gender, prompting rebuttals all involving different varieties of the phrase “Old Man Yelling” to varying effect. However, Jen is the only one to connect the dots and realize that if Klosterman isn’t our generation’s Andy Rooney, he soon will be.

Does anyone actually think building a 5 story boat warehouse in the middle of Matheson Hammock is a good idea? Didn’t think so. Find out more and sign the petition here.

So Reddit is apparently the hottest thing in social aggregation since sliced bread and/or Digg. There is an anonymous AMA (ask me anything) on being a doorman at a Miami club that’s revealing
on many levels, not the least of which by showing how misunderstood Miami is generally.

That said, tha author’s advice so far boils down as following:

• Don’t be fat and a girl.
• Don’t be either a) skinny and alone or b) fat and poor if you’re a dude.
• Related: C.R.E.A.M.
• More girls are always better and if you’re either of the above hide in a crowd.
• Cut in line all you want, just don’t create a “disturbance.”
• The doorman is more articulate and has a better sense of humor than you give him credit for. He’s also not happy at having to be a dick.
• Don’t wear Ed Hardy or Tapout apparel (which explains a lot about why I keep getting turned away at clubs, ok not really.)

The best part about the SOPA blackouts? Watching people on Twitter flip the hell out.