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Jessica Gross gives Rick Scott a Covergirl makeover

In an effort to soften up Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s image, we decided to give him a makeover via Covergirl’s Makeup Mirror.

I mean if you can make a frog look sexy, anything can happen? Also, with hair there is a creepy resemblance to Crispin Glover and Lyle Lovett! Success!

rick scott cover girl 2

Another sexy Scott and sexy frog after the jump.

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Staring contest, anyone?

jessica gross owl

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Law & Order: S.O.X. Unit

sox jessica gross

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Hunter vs. Hunted: Past, Present, & Future

hunters jessica gross

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Dust Bunny Nightmares

jessica gross dust bunnies

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Dexter Brings Home the Bacon

 

Rat testing

rats

 

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Travelogue: John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park

Andrew was turning 25, and for his birthday, he wanted to swim with Jesus.

John Pennekamp is the only coral reef in the continental united states and it’s about an hour drive south of Miami. Once inside the park, you can rent equipment or sign up for a snorkeling trip that will take you out to the edge of the reef, just a short swim to the Christ of the Deep statue. It’s only about ten feet to his hands, but the pressure is still intense. It’s a miraculous trip.

Filmed with Flip Camera with underwater housing case.

 

An open letter to the past few months

sad face

“There’s Light at the End of this Tunnel, But I Doubt These Hips Will Make It” – J.Gross

To the sales job who wanted me to work 80 hours per week, while you paid me the equivalent of what a McDonald’s employee makes hourly, all while the CEO called twice daily meetings to brag about the five cars he owns and how money wasn’t an issue for him, then chastised us for not working hard enough. Then, after I complained about the hours and shitty pay, your solution was to offer me a position paying even less, and then changing your mind and firing me before I could quit…

To the HR Department from said sales job for mailing my final check to the wrong address, which, due to the dimwits in your accounting department, turned out to be a whopping $0…

To the unemployment office for making it so complicated to file for benefits by getting rid of your local offices, letting baboons with the IQ of –45 design your website, and leaving me in a constant cycle of phone calls that sound like, “sorry we are helping someone else at the time,please hang up and try your call again later… Click…”

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Avogadro's theory

Avogadro's Theory

 

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Imitation crab meat

imitation crab meat

 

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101 ways to execute tea bags

tea party

 

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My unwanted houseguest

roach

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Cartoon: mission impossible

maynard poop

Congrats to Jessica for being named Miami New Times’ best club comic!

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Men will do anything to avoid chores

men will do anything small

Congrats to Jessica for being named Miami New Times’ best club comic!

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The Sleepytime Takeover

sleepytime

Congrats to Jessica for being named Miami New Times’ best club comic! Ya know?

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One Creature Can Save the Day: SHAFT WHALE!

whale

 

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To Workout: Helping Muscles Build Stronger Friendships

Muscles

 

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