I don’t want to ruin anything about the most recent Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee but Stephen Colbert quotes a Neutral Milk Hotel song at length and Jerry just can’t handle it and it’s kind of the best.
“Fox’s? You’re going THERE?” my Dad would say. He was a professor at the University of Miami and always thought of Fox’s as a seedy poorly lit dump.
Which of course it kind of was – but it was ours, dammit.
(Press play before you read.)
I took my dad to Fox’s Sherron Inn this Father’s Day. It was 5:30 p.m. and the South Miami restaurant was dark, as usual, and cool. It was also empty. It felt like time paused and something erased all the other people in the world. Where did everyone go?
It’s almost the same as when I was growing up. The bar’s now larger, there’s a front patio instead of a curb to sit on, the back rooms are “nicer,” and that ceramic fox is gone. Remember the fox someone stole? I think I know who did it.
I read on Matthew Andrews’ Facebook earlier that this, one the oldest running establishments in town, is closing at the end of this month and the building will be torn down. His family owned it for decades. Remember when he was always there, and, dude, we were all always there. It was like being a kid and your cousins are kids and you all buzz around your grandparents’ house. And then you get to high school and you only stop in now and again. And then your grandparents die, and you can’t ever go back. We’re at that moment.
The best thing about Fox’s was always Patsy Cline on the juke box. Then the 2-4-1 happy hour special that got you so stupid drunk, you ended up crying to “Crazy” and playing it back to back. Then there were the conversations with the old regulars. Boat guys. One was my favorite. He lived with his mom, wore polos with shorts. He was in his 50s, and he liked to talk music. And that airplane painting on the wall — it’s unbeatable. It makes me feel like it’s OK to love where you’re at but also dream about being on your way to someplace different.
“I’m so lonely” – via
Because the long weekend was too short.
- Someone owed this dolphin money.
- Do you want to fuck a celebrity? Or KNOW you’re fucking a celebrity anyway? Or make it super awkward when you’re trying to fuck a celebrity? Tinder has you covered.
- Babies poo faces. Not that different from mine, really.
- GoPro has been on top of the action camera market for so long that they more or less thinks they can get away with anything. Their overpriced and inferior new camera proves it.
- Last week was a banner week for racism. Let’s go ahead and get this out in one go: Paula Deen is still nuts, there will be no rainbows in the confederacy, and upstate NY mayor defends city seal in which a white dude is clearly strangling a Native American.
- Pope continues to confuse everyone.
- Oddly enough free contraceptives seems to help things. Who in the world would have guessed?
- Phrase I learned existed today: Indonesian mud volcano.
- So we rebelled against mandals, can we rebel against slip ons already? already?
- Higher ed: totally fucked or just kind of fucked?
Apologies for leaning so hard on Boing Boing this week – there was just too much good weird news to pass up.
I’ve tried to post this somewhere every year around this time. Imagine my apprehension this year when I couldn’t find it on YouTube?! (There’s a version of Marvin Gaye doing the Star Spangled Banner on there, but it’s a completely straight version, sans mirrorshades. Whatev.) Anyway! DailyMotion to the rescue or whatever. I’ll be downloading this one so I don’t have any trouble when it gets pulled off the internet for good by mouth-breathing kunckle draggers.
Because Freedom incoming.
- Art Basel is coming up, kind of! Be prepared! How to launder money via fine art.
- Judge Posner continues to be a shining beacon of judicial thought. Roberts’ Gay Marriage Dissent is ‘Heartless’
- Mango theft is real. It is not a victimless crime. Woman arrested for shooting at thief who tried to take one of her mangoes.
- God dammit I love Florida. Man in Keys arrested for firing a musket at cars. In other news how do I get a job as a “Professional Pirate Entertainer”?
- If you’re a reporter, and your name is “Sarah O’Connor,” maybe don’t tweet about killer robots.
Rules: nothing featuring vocal samples otherwise everything on this list would just be Daft Punk.
Awhile ago I was shooting the breeze with John and Liz and I asked them for ideas for making a social network. I’d been messing around with web programming and I wanted a project. I don’t really remember what they said, but it was a lot of thoughtful constructive ways that Facebook could be improved (these conversations of course are all happening on Facebook at the time, not like now when we have our custom Sharepoint implementation up and running) and whatnot.
Now you’re thinking, but wait: improving and adding features is not how social networks get built these days! All the social networks created since FB are different because of the features they lose, right? Twitter is messaging, but only up to 140 characters. Snapchat only does one thing (I’m not sure what that one thing is, and I guess also now it’s a news portal, so maybe forget about that one as an example). Instagram is basically like Facebook, but it removes everything but photos. The most recent and extreme examples are Yo, which removed everything but one predefined message you could send. Then there’s Secret and Yik Yak, which are like Twitter but without the user accounts. I’ve heard that there’s an Instagram-like photo sharing tool for doctors to share photos of their patient’s weird medical things? Each of these things is great in its own way, and impossible to explain to someone who hasn’t used it.
So that’s my question: what’s your idea for a simple social network that might or might not be interesting? I’m not a savage, so I’m not going to tell you to leave a comment. Post it to Facebook, of course.
I am a thirtysomething questionably professional man living in New York City. I do not consider myself a social butterfly or as having a particularly special or exciting personal life.
Regardless it has gotten to the point where even meeting a group of friends at a bar requires a minimum of 15 emails juggling no fewer than 3 proposed dates. I have friends that have kids, friends that are planning on having kids shortly, friends that are working frantically so they can afford somewhere into which they can place children, and people who are just generally so busy at work or with vaguely work-like engagements for which they don’t get paid (networking? Is that what this is called?) that they can’t ever do anything with real friends.
I realize I’m not the only one with these ‘problems’ (specifically white people and first world) but generally they are not really that hard to deal with. That is, except when it comes to birthdays.
It’s only June, and this has already been a year of many deaths for me. It’s also been a shit one for the New Times family too, which I was a part of, am a part of as a freelancer. In the past three months or so, two writers — Alex Rendon, who was a friend of mine, Kareem Shaker — and now former Broward music editor and South Florida musician Jason Budjinski, aka Billy Boloby, passed away.
I only knew Jason through our Facebook exchanges and because he wrote a blog or two for the site when I had his old job. Some people you only know online and can’t figure out who they are, or you just hate their guts, but not this guy. He always had something smart or thoughtful to say and knew how to say whatever it was clearly and with style. He had real perspective on things and a sense of humor about his lengthy illness, without being crass. I saw he wrote about being under hospice care a few days back, but it’s always a surprise when a 38 year old dies. Always. He didn’t make it to Tuesday this week.
It’s Tuesday and this week will never end. Why not listen to an hour long mix of proto-80’s New Romantic songs?
Extremely long writeup of what this music means to me and some reminsicing about my childhood and/or dancing at SoHo Lounge after the jump.
Aren’t you at least a bit curious about how Columbia House managed to sell you 8 CD’s for a penny, as told by a bunch of insiders with indie rock bonafides? You know you are. Featuring random stories about Insound, Stephen Malkamus and why Drag City won’t sell out.
Image: Comics with Problems
Because Monday is boring and you smell bad.
- ‘Go out in the world and fuck it up beautifully.’ – patron THL saint John Waters delivers the 2015 commencement speech at RISD.
- Wondering where Jeb Bush has been for the past 8 years? Here’s a good history lesson. Warning: nothing outlined here is as salacious as either the headline or tone would suggest.
- Apple announced a bunch of back end stuff you probably don’t care about unless you’re a total nerd. More notable is Apple CEO Tim Cook sitting down to discuss diversity in tech.
- While you were watching not-good basketball last night, the Tonys happened. I tried to find something interesting about this but I haven’t heard of any of the new plays and just got distracted by how awesome Helen Mirren is.
- No one in LA has the time or the urge to go sit in the studio audience of American daytime shows, so they now pay people to do it. (via The Morning News)
- Do you stink? Does your loved one stink? Are you driving away loved ones with stink? Comics with Problems has you covered.
- While you’re there, wander over to the illustrated biography of underground publisher and political writer John Wilcox. Come for the orgy, stay for being chewed out by Norman Mailer.
I have no idea how I became a connoisseur of laundromats. Somewhere between reading the inflated expectations of Yelp reviewers and reflections on my own misery while waiting for my load to dry, I realized I had a gift.
So it’s apparently National Donut Day and Liz is hungry. We don’t have a lot of options here so we turned to TaskRabbit.