Here we are at the Via Crucis of good intentions. Remember last year when we held a contest for a mix-tape from my heart to your ears? Remember that? Remember the instructions? How if you posted to Facebook and became post number 127 you’d get one? Seemed like a good idea right? Save you the trouble of “downloading” music and owning something that will probably disintegrate in a couple of years but that would have some kind of cool little handmade package to show the kids eventually? Yup, it seemed like a good idea to us too.
Until we realized that either a) the instructions were not clear enough or b) you my sweet little chickens and adorable fools of the parade are a bunch of analfabetas. The blog that was supposed to be reposted got 79 posts while the one telling you which one to repost got 139.
And the flavor my analfabeta readers have left in my mouth made me want to soldier on no more.
Oh well, maybe I’ll change my mind after a bender and some whoring this week. Nothing like the STD infested nether regions of the Magic City to set a boy’s mind at ease. Also, since no one’s turned me in to the O.E.D. sheriffs for my continuous sacrilegious caterwaul through the flowering buds of the English Language and Her Spellings and Grammars, I should be thankful enough and refrain from calling my readership a bunch of analfabetas, even though everybody completely failed the contest, even the winners!
These are pity winners!!! And these pity winners are as follows for a number of reasons that will follow later down the line, because now you’ll have to wait until April to get your prize. That’s how I will fail you.
The winners are:
They’ll know who they are soon enough.