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THUNDERSTORM: a short story


Everything in the sky looked ominous.
“I’m hungry,” Zeus said. “Make me a salami and provolone sandwich.”
“Order out,” Hera said.
“Quiznos doesn’t deliver to Olympus.”
“What do you want from me?” Hera said.
It was the latter part of a dark afternoon.
“Come on—” “No.” There was a long, deep, bellow in the sky.
“Will you listen to my stomach? Do you want to scare the mortals?”
“Go fuck yourself, Zeus.”
“Baby.” He walked toward Hera and placed her head on his breast. “Is this about Semele?” Pitter, patter, pitter, patter, splat, splat. “She’s not worth your tears, Goddess.”
“I hate you.”
“Will you listen to my stomach?”
On the planet below a black Labrador yelped and ran into the bathroom to cower behind a white shower curtain stained with a brown chalky film.
“You make me sick,” Hera cried.
“Enough of your crying,” Zeus said, stomping his foot. “And fuck Semele.”
“You already did.”
“Go make me a sandwich, goddamn it.”

“I’ll get you, Zeus. I’ll get you and that fucking slut.”

J.J. Colagrande is the author of Headz, a novel.

“Thunderstorm” is part of the collection Are You Hungry? scheduled for publication Spring 2012.

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