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Alternative Names for the New Starbucks Size

As pointed out by Sweat Records via the HuffPo, Starbucks is introducing the “Trenta” – a coffee cup whose volume exceeds that of the average human stomach. The following is a list of alternative names for this caffeinated bounty:

  • Ye Olde Coffee Flagon
  • The Renal Failure
  • Thirty Bathroom Trips
  • Sorso Grande (rough Italian for “Big Gulp”)
  • Nuclear Juan Valdez
  • The “It’s not that much when you account for the ice cubes”
  • Red Eye (of Sauron)
  • The Brown Horn of Plenty

Please feel free to suggest additional names in the comments. I can already hear the gears in Liz Tracy’s head working.



Brown Barfies
The Burning Ring of Ass Fire
Insta Puke
The Shaky Sphincter
Anorexic Crush
The “I’m Crying for No Reason”
The “Why Can’t I Hold this Pencil”
Tinnitus Treat
The Americana

More on their way…

EAT · Jan 18, 01:37 PM · #

The evacuator

— Mister Funk · Jan 18, 03:28 PM · #

-the “it’ll be room temperature coffee by the time you get to the bottom” cup
-the fastest way to reverse a gastric bypass
-the family-sized model

— anniepoohster · Jan 18, 04:04 PM · #


…no, I’m not a big fan of SB coffee…

— Jon · Jan 18, 05:43 PM · #

The Bladder Expander

The “In one end and out the other”

The Big Jitters

— Donald Cannon · Jan 18, 05:45 PM · #

“Let me get an extra-large coffee, please. What? No, just one extra-large. You call it what? That’s cute, but it’s just your extra large size, right? Yeah, that one, thanks”

— Jon · Jan 18, 05:55 PM · #

My favorite so far has to be Red Eye (of Sauron). If, God forbid, I should ever have to order one, I will refer to it as the Plenty Venti.

— Jimmy · Jan 18, 08:02 PM · #

The most fitting clip for this post.

Excuse me, miss? There seems to be a mistake. I believe I ordered the large cappuccino. Hello! Look at the size of this thing.

It’s like Campbell’s Cup-O’-ccino!

EAT · Jan 19, 03:18 AM · #

laughing still. and scared.

how about the defibrillator?
double d (for dat dysrhythmia)?
a poor man’s colostomy?
an external rectum, s’il vous plait.

— leah · Jan 19, 06:15 PM · #

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