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Alternative Names for the New Starbucks Size

by John Spain, posted Jan 18, 01:22 PM

As pointed out by Sweat Records via the HuffPo, Starbucks is introducing the “Trenta” – a coffee cup whose volume exceeds that of the average human stomach. The following is a list of alternative names for this caffeinated bounty:

  • Ye Olde Coffee Flagon
  • The Renal Failure
  • Thirty Bathroom Trips
  • Sorso Grande (rough Italian for “Big Gulp”)
  • Nuclear Juan Valdez
  • The “It’s not that much when you account for the ice cubes”
  • Red Eye (of Sauron)
  • The Brown Horn of Plenty

Please feel free to suggest additional names in the comments. I can already hear the gears in Liz Tracy’s head working.

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Brown Barfies
The Burning Ring of Ass Fire
Insta Puke
The Shaky Sphincter
Anorexic Crush
The “I’m Crying for No Reason”
The “Why Can’t I Hold this Pencil”
Tinnitus Treat
The Americana

More on their way…

— EAT · Jan 18, 01:37 PM · #

The evacuator

— Mister Funk · Jan 18, 03:28 PM · #

-the “it’ll be room temperature coffee by the time you get to the bottom” cup
-the fastest way to reverse a gastric bypass
-the family-sized model

— anniepoohster · Jan 18, 04:04 PM · #

Big-gulp-o-shit
2-baristas-1-cup

…no, I’m not a big fan of SB coffee…

— Jon · Jan 18, 05:43 PM · #

The Bladder Expander

The “In one end and out the other”

The Big Jitters

— Donald Cannon · Jan 18, 05:45 PM · #

“Let me get an extra-large coffee, please. What? No, just one extra-large. You call it what? That’s cute, but it’s just your extra large size, right? Yeah, that one, thanks”

— Jon · Jan 18, 05:55 PM · #

My favorite so far has to be Red Eye (of Sauron). If, God forbid, I should ever have to order one, I will refer to it as the Plenty Venti.

— Jimmy · Jan 18, 08:02 PM · #

The most fitting clip for this post.

Excuse me, miss? There seems to be a mistake. I believe I ordered the large cappuccino. Hello! Look at the size of this thing.

It’s like Campbell’s Cup-O’-ccino!

— EAT · Jan 19, 03:18 AM · #

laughing still. and scared.

how about the defibrillator?
double d (for dat dysrhythmia)?
a poor man’s colostomy?
an external rectum, s’il vous plait.

— leah · Jan 19, 06:15 PM · #

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