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Surprise, ladies! Crying isn't sexy.
but writing about it is kind of amusing

crying girl

If you say you’ve never cried during sex, you’re lying. You are a big fat, shameful liar. Sure, it’s embarrassing, but maybe for more reasons than because you have shitty relationships and can’t keep a boyfriend, maybe it’s also embarrassing because it’s a turnoff. First Science and then the NYT reported that preliminary experiments have shown that tears can be used for manipulation (big news), “sending chemical signals that influence the behavior of other people,” and they apparently turn men off (for real?). Here’s the full article.

Though the article is about a sort of serious subject, that of avoiding getting laid or fending off unwanted sexual attention, there were a few memorable quotes I plucked out for my own entertainment. Whether you think they’re funny or not is irrelevant to me.

Here they are:

*…that when blind mole rats washed their faces with tears…

*“We had to use fresh tears.”

*They could not find men who were ‘good criers’

*Ms. Yeshurun was also one of the criers, losing it over “Terms of Endearment.”

*Dr. Sobel, who also plans to study children’s tears.

*said he was “thrilled to death to see somebody doing something on the chemistry of emotional tears.”

*They showed men scenes from “9 ½ Weeks” — specifically the more explicit version that was shown in Europe, which, Dr. Sobel said, “has been validated as being particularly arousing.”

*But initial experiments found that sniffing women’s tears did not affect men’s mood or empathy, but “had a pronounced influence on sexual arousal, a surprise,” Dr. Sobel said.

*They became the researchers’ “bank of criers”; a stable of “backup criers” was kept in reserve.

*“That tears are de-arousing would not be a surprise to most men. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than go see a tear-jerker.”

*“It’s not that I would recommend to any woman to cry to send a message,” he said. “It would be much better to just say no.”

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Comment

Why do you hate transexuals that cry?

Joey Twonutz · Jan 7, 12:39 PM · #

“Fat” and “shameful”, separated by nothing but a comma? Aren’t you afraid that Marie Claire is going to fire you or something?

— Ricky P · Jan 7, 01:19 PM · #

Whenever I don’t have pizza, hotdogs, and hamburgers I cry… Anyone know where I can find pizza, hotdogs, and hamburgers?

Heyyy · Jan 7, 02:23 PM · #

Ricky, hahaha. I meant it in the manner of taunting, not in the manner of giant bellies. I was a big fat giant cry baby yesterday when they towed my car away for the last time…

Heyyy, you’re making me very hungry. I’m hungry now.

EAT · Jan 7, 04:27 PM · #

Crying blind mole rats make me cry. I’m crying now.

— nico. · Jan 9, 02:35 PM · #

my man-tears well up from lost loves. Triggers are: old familiar tunes and expressions of injustice on film n text. Tears of joy are my sour/sweetness favorites. Eyes without tears are like minds w no conscience.

swampthing · Jan 10, 11:12 AM · #

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