Photos by Jason McKay.

Diagnosing disease in a fully-loaded modern emergency room is a process that rarely takes place entirely within the walls of the department. A patient is seen for five minutes by a physician. Once orders are placed, a cascade of events begins. Blood and urine is collected and sent to a laboratory. Meanwhile, the patient is sent to radiology for scans and x-rays. A call may be placed to the patient’s primary physician. This gathering of data may take many hours, sometimes warranting an overnight stay without a firm diagnosis. American healthcare workers are addicted to data and lashed to it by fear of litigation, and there is no evidence more incriminating than within an emergency room armed to the teeth with diagnostic and interventional firepower.

This is the only world I had ever known before I went to Haiti for a week of volunteer work as a nurse last month. Suddenly, our misfit gang of nurses, paramedics, and firefighters were thrust into an environment wherein each of us was called “doctor” and the most powerful tool we had was the stethoscope around our necks.

For the first time, there are three women on the supreme court. The significance? “Having three or more women in a small decision-making group constitutes a critical mass that can transform the way that group operates.” Among other positive effects, “the small group as a whole becomes more collaborative and more open to different perspectives.”

I think the internet was more amused by the idea of Kanye’s New Yorker cartoons then by the actual result. But. Check out Jersey Shore mashed up with Family Circus for some primo yuks. (Thanks, Amanda!)

Just closed the Instruments of Torture exhibition at the Freedom Tower. Displays of torture equipment are popular tourist traps around Europe, but this was somewhat more upscale, on loan from the Museo Medieval in Italy and with many pieces from “private collections.” There was also a decidedly political bent to the exhibitions, and the informational panels never missed a chance to say that “It still goes on today!!!”

By Jose Flores and Abel Folgar.

Forgot to post this the other day. I saw the new MGMT video on The Awl, days late, and before 9 a.m. It made me want to commit a morning suicide. The two boy-cuties trail a decomposing alien-cutie and then it, well, it, sniff, it… just watch. I really like MGMT, no matter how cool or uncool, their music is enjoyable, the video’s interesting, but Lord, now I’m really sad and my keyboard’s all wet with tears again.

These guys’ll be here in October.

As a desperate attempt to get myself back into the habit of posting regularly before I end up on Liz’s permanent shit-list, here is the best stuff I’ve heard of on the internet last week. Let’s see how long I can ramble about each link? Score me one point for every one that made you say “huh!”, deduct one point for each thing you’ve already seen.

• The percentage of people who say they ‘need’ a microwave dropped to 45% this year, from a high near 70% in 2005. I’ve not had a microwave since I moved out of my mommy’s house, so I assume y’all are just playing catchup on the joys of reheating food in a cast-iron skillet and/or eating it cold? Also: note that if you take the slight decline for “computer” as a baseline, there is hardly any decline in people saying a car is a necessity, which is pretty depressing.
• Fucking amazing photos of the NYC subway from the 80s.
• The Marlins are screwing us. Shocker. I’m somewhat ashamed to be exited about the addition of the stadium to the skyline, even though I argued against the public funding for it.
• In defense of straight gin. I’m a do this up.
• Fuck you Facebook news now: FB is censoring what causes people can support on its pages. Words cannot express how happy I will be when the tide shifts away from this sorry blue monster.
• This you have almost certainly heard already, but Justin Bieber slowed by 800%.
• Books & Books controversy, Hamptons. I witnessed this first-hand, and I can tell you that the “other” bookstore moved off main-street — forfeiting the walk-in traffic that is the B&B’s lifeblood — before the B&B entered the picture, so their complaints seem a bit bogus.
• N Y OCT 29 [1971] / DEAR LUCY / THE ENEMIES OF WOMEN’S LIBERATION IN THE ARTS WILL BE CRUSHED. / LOVE, Nancy. Maybe the best evidence for the greatness of writing letters ever.
• Tips for ordering and consuming wine in restaurants. I love reading these lists, but it seems like unspoken rule #1 always is: be an expert at wine.
• Good Neighbors — semi-new fiction by Jonathan Franzen, who has a new book coming out soon.
• Color photos from the depression.

Updated. Thanks, commenters!

Wow, there are a LOT of concerts in September and especially October. Here’s your handy guide, repurposed from Misael, who you should follow on Tumblr.

• August 31: Hank Williams III at Culture Room
• September 11: Crystal Castles at Grand Central
• September 18: Surfer Blood and The Drums at Grand Central
• September 18: Toro y Moi at the Electric Pickle
• September 23: Neil Young at Hard Rock Live
• September 24: CocoRosie at Revolution
• October 2: Phantogram at the Electric Pickle
• October 5: Yeasayer at the Fillmore
• October 6: LCD Soundsystem and Sleigh Bells at the Fillmore
• October 14: Vampire Weekend and Beach House at the Fillmore
• October 15: Matt and Kim at the Culture Room
• October 16: Built to Spill at the Culture Room
• October 19: Caribou at Grand Central
• October 19: Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros at the Culture Room
• October 26: MGMT at the Fillmore
• October 26: Massive Attack And Thievery Corporation at Bayfront Park
• October 27: Phoenix at the Fillmore
• November 7: Wolf Parade at the Fillmore

67 and rainy and nearly impossible to leave the apartment in. Jeff Mangum whines in my ears as I walk out the door and lower my umbrella into the wind like a damp Quixote. I am wearing a shirt with unrolled sleeves for the first time since arriving and on my face is the manic smile on that every transplant to a large city has while succeeding in convincing themselves that this was a great idea.

The definition of a commute is when the adage “life is a journey not a destination” is demonstrably false.

The cubicle was empty when I arrived about a month ago – some promotional materials and a little rotating carrel filled with paperclips, pens that had run dry, a highlighter, and an arcaic letter opener welcomed me. The drawers were empty. The top shelf was filled with the things my predescessor couldn’t find a use for, mostly papers and the like. I added to it a half empty Poland Spring water bottle that now has its own ecosystem.

There wasn’t enough espresso in the world earlier and there continues not to be enough now. There is a fire alarm test going on and a strobe light is flashing 20 feet away and 20 degrees above eye level. It’s presently the only thing keeping me awake.

During lunch the working pedestrians in the Financial District fight for sidewalk space with the edges of their umbrellas, gingerly clashing above while shoulder rub below. Not unlike fencing it’s a subtle dance – unlike fencing it’s massively awkward. The rain doesn’t stop the tourists from marveling at the bull’s balls or from getting in everyone’s way.

I go back to work but wish I was going back to bed.

• A 22 year old Miami Beach resident somehow got a poorly laid out $300 million dollar contract to provide munitions to the Afghan government for fighting the insurgency. A few years and a few million expired and/or illegal munitions later, he got arrested. When awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty to conspiracy charges related to selling banned Chinese munitions, he did the sensible thing, namely everything involving guns and trading in guns that you really aren’t supposed to do when you’re a convicted felon. The tale ends when he drove to Brevard and got arrested in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The moral of the story is there’s a reason The Onion doesn’t publish a Miami edition – our real news is too entertaining.
• Who doesn’t hate college football? Honestly this is the funniest thing I’ve read on sports possibly in my entire life – every paragraph has a quoteworthy sentence. Please take special note of our lucky #13 Miami Hurricanes, the only team graced with a picture.
• Do you read Boing Boing? The better question is do you a) read any kind of blog and b) like cool things. If you’re reading this then the answer to both is hopefully yes* but the only reason I bring it up is because they posted about a book on Japanese manhole covers back in May. Gizmodo posted basically the exact same article this week in their normal clickthrough-maximizing gallery format that drives me absolutely apeshit. Point being: you have a right way and a wrong way of sharing something. Right: “hey look at this cool thing” Wrong: “hey maximize my ad value on a slow news day.”
• This was the first suggested Google Ad fed to me via the above referenced Gizmodo article. Feel free to judge my browsing habits now. I will be in my cave. Of knives.
• Finally, if you’re old enough to vote as of yesterday, you’re older than Hurricane Andrew. Which makes me: old.

_{*also acceptable: “no but I’m a tremendous weirdo”}

I’m not supposed to get worked up about stuff like this, but boy all the signs, they are getting to me. Take this little beauty, in a parking lot outside a Cuban restaurant. What’s the matter here, as a numbered list:

1. There is no grass. Mostly there are dead leaves, plus two types of weeds, and a pile of asphalt. And there is a lot of garbage.

“So I was walking down Keap, not far from the Lorimer L stop, when I came across a half-black guy and a peroxide blonde girl making out hard in the middle of the sidewalk. The best part was his car door was still open with the engine running with some blues song BLASTING out. I had to stop and ask myself ‘did I just walk into a fucking Levis commercial?’” – Gispert

Big Boi doesn’t seem scared of making great big music. It’s like he just does it. While so many others will always struggle trying to balance between innovation and technique, intimidated by success, this guy boldly goes forth, knowing what he’s doing, and doing it well.

I don’t want to be the boy who cried American-Apparel-closing-wolf, but American Apparel might be in trouble. Stock up your quasi-hip leisure wear now, kids. Might I recommend a BUTT magazine towel?

I’m not hungover, just tired. It’s 9:39 on a Sunday morning and I’m sipping coffee and watching the rain. There are so few people on the pavement it feels like there must be an explanation other than the time.

Check out more of Nathan’s comics here.

The singularity, people. It’s when machines become smarter then us. What happens then? They can design machines smarter then themselves, and those machines then design smarter machines still, and we get a rapid escalation of machine intelligence with consequences that are utterly impossible to predict.

When does it happen? Nobody knows, but maybe soon — it sounds like computers are starting to be able to figure more and more shit out. Get ready, the our machine overloards may not be far off.